Gaslighting at Work: When Speaking Up Makes You the Problem
By C Vaishak Menon
In a public sector bank, a branch manager posted a casual WhatsApp status:
“Single Day Casual Leave denied by Competent Authority. Why this kolaveri di?”
It was light, humorous, and personal. But the bank suspended the employee, calling it a violation of its social media policy.
In another case, Ritika, a hardworking professional, reported a colleague for inappropriate behavior. Instead of support, she was ignored. Teammates began excluding her. Meetings went on without her. Soon, she was made to feel like she had done something wrong. She eventually withdrew the complaint and accepted the label that she has raised fake allegation.
What’s Really Going On?
These aren’t just strict rules or discipline.
They are examples of gaslighting in the workplace—a toxic pattern where people are made to doubt their own experiences, emotions, or even reality.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is when someone twists the truth to make you question your own judgment.
In a workplace, it might look like this:
- You report bad behavior → You’re told “You misunderstood.”
- You raise concerns → You’re labeled “negative” or “not a team player.”
- You express stress → You're told “You're overthinking it.”
This emotional manipulation can make people feel confused, isolated, and ashamed for doing what’s actually right.
The Crab-in-a-Box Effect
Think of a box of crabs. When one crab tries to climb out, the others pull it down—not because it’s wrong to escape, but because they can’t stand someone breaking free.
Gaslighting at work feels just like that.
- When someone speaks up, they’re dragged down with judgment, gossip, or silence.
- They’re made to feel small, wrong, or over-sensitive—not because they are, but because they dared to rise.
Why It Matters
Gaslighting kills confidence.
It drives out honest voices.
It creates a culture of fear where only silence feels safer.
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